


This New Thing

by cb150681



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: F/M, Upstead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:09:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27684037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cb150681/pseuds/cb150681
Summary: Haley and Jay got in to a new dynamics in their relationship.
Relationships: Jay Halstead & Hailey Upton, Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton
Comments: 10
Kudos: 74





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!, So this is the first time I write in more than 2 years I think. I't's not my best work, I mostly feel rusty, but I'm kind of happy with the result.  
> I never wrote Upstead (mostly I wrote Linstead for cpd fandom) but I had this converstation in my head after the promo and I share it with an amazing writer @Heellen and she push me in to write this down so I only have her to thanks for what I got ;)

The bar was not crowded and the music soothing for small talk, Hailey could see Jay’s mixed feelings on his face. She thought about inviting him over to her place, but for this talk, she couldn’t trust herself to be alone with him. She was absolutely aware that things had changed between them since New York. They were close, closer than they ever been, they smile more around each other, they flirt more, and mostly they touch more like they have a constant need to feel that the other is really there. They didn’t do this before she went away and she knew that all the phone calls and facetime they did during her absence from Chicago, changed their dynamics, but it was a good change. They were in a great place right now and she was not ready to leave that behind, but that was the reason that they need to address the elephant in the room.

She knew she wasn't ready to leave him, but she wasn't sure how things could change between them. Could they have been something more? Would Jay want the same thing she wanted?

As she observed Jay processing the FBI offer and what that means for them, she decided to be a bit more bold.

"You know you could tell me you don't want me to take it, Jay…”, she said without thinking too much.

She was tired of thinking too much, fighting too much, waiting too long. She knew five seconds ago she was afraid of ruin what they have, but now all she could think was that this was the opportunity they both had to spill out and, maybe, they should have been alone at her place, after all.

Jay fixed his gaze on her, she could see he was choosing his words, she knew him too well, he was mostly closed to everyone else but her. She always managed to read what was on his mind, most of the times, and he wouldn’t just say how he was feeling, he probably would try to light it all with a joke or an evasive answer, but when he spoke she felt tears come up and made a major effort to not to shed them.

"I can't tell you that, Hailey!”, he said in a hoarse tone.

She couldn’t face him, her eyes shining with her struggle for keeping herself in check. He noticed her struggle and smiled softly putting his hand on top of her across the table, with his thumb he caressed her skin.

"You are a great cop, Hailey, much greater than me. You deserve the best and you deserve the opportunity to shine, and if that means that you have to leave Chicago behind to do so, I'm not the one who will stop you. I can't do that to you, I'm not that person”, he said before gently up her chin, making her look at him, "I'm happy for you! Damn, I’m super proud of you.”

She kept quiet, eyes on him. And when he said her name in an almost a whisper, she shivered - she always did when Jay says her name like that.

“Hailey…don’t get me wrong, all this broke me inside, because that means I’ll lose you. And that’s because I’ll miss my partner and my best friend, but mostly it's because I’ll miss us. Whatever we are, what we have is special, and honestly, I can't picture my life without you in it!"

A smile opened on her face as she looked at him, with now both of her hands under his, eventually a tear ended up falling and he caught it lightly with his thumb.

She breathed out before she talks, ”If you were in my position, did you take the offer?”

He tilted his head at her smiling.

“Well, that will probably never will happen but… No, I'll be flattered but the feds are too fancy for me and I can't see my life away from Chicago, away from you!”, he finished with a smirk dancing on his lips.

Her face opened a bit, eyes still shining but breathing more steady. For a fraction of this conversation, she thought Jay wasn’t on the same page that she was, but he was, after all. He was all in and she could feel it in her heart.

She took his hand and kiss it, feeling a flush of heat hitting her face.

"I don't want to go, Jay; I never had any doubt about it. Like you said, I feel flattered, happy, and special because they got to knew my work when I messed it up here, but Jay…when I'm with you, I'm home!"

Jay smiled at her words and hold her hands for a while until speaking again. “And what that means?”

“I’ll not accept the offer and we can keep doing our thing!”, she said smiling wide. “And now maybe we should go home because it’s late and we have to work tomorrow…”

He faced her with his smirk again, the cocky one, the one she knew it means he would say some kind of teasing or flirty thing.

“Hailey… You said your home is with me! So…what that actually means?”

She rolled her eyes, she should know that something like this would be coming, but she went with it.

“Remember one of our calls, while I was in New York, when I told you that what bother me most to be there, there was how alone I felt in that hotel room?" she asked expectantly.

He smiled and nod.

“Well, with Vanessa gone, I fell alone at home too. The house is so quiet now, it feels strange…so if you want, we can go home together, and…well, you can spend the night at my place…”, she said blushing and biting her lip, “It doesn’t have to be nothing much, Jay. I just…I think I would like to have you around tonight!”

He just got up and left some cash on the table.

“Let’s go then! I’m ok with this new thing of us”, he said waiting for her to dress her coat.

They ended up their night at her couch, watching TV like the previous conversation on the bar never happened. They talked about all sorts of stuff, they laughed about how Ruzek managed to always put himself in funny situations. They talked about Kevin and his complicated situation and how they wanted to help him but didn’t really know how, since he seemed more into solving everything alone. They shared some of Trudy and Kim's comments about the “keep in touch thing” they got while she was in New York. The women kept teasing both of them about it.

The silence started to fill the room, the comfortable silence, the kind they were use to and that was not akward. Hailey took a blanket from the back of her couch and dropped over the two of them while they watched reruns of some crapy show on TV. She pushed her legs close to her and Jay put his arm around her. Without thinking and like this was something they could do all the time, they cuddled together under the blanket until they eventually fall a sleep.

* * *

They woke up to the sound of their phones ringing, Hailey all curled up against Jay's torso, resting her head on his chest and Jay with his arms around Hailey’s tiny body.

“Halstead”, Jay said as he picked it up, clearing his throat and watching Hailey moving around the couch to the kitchen to take her call.

“Ok, I’ll be there in twenty.”

“It was Kim! We got a case!”, Hailey said as she came back and seated right where she was before the phone wakes them, “We got to go!”, she said breathing hard.

Jay chuckled, “You seem very eager to go!”

“We didn’t get very much sleep, ok? I’m tired!”, she said punching him lightly.

“Yeah, but we got to go. Can I use your bathroom to change into something different?”, he asked already up and picking his bag from the entrance.

“Go ahead, I’ll go change too. Be down in a minute.”

They met at the front door, both ready to go. Before Hailey opened the door, Jay pulled her into a light hug and kiss her head.

“We are good, Hailey.”

"Yeah, we are…", she said face him with a wide smile on her face, "But I need coffee" This pulled a laugh from him.

"Of course you need coffee!"

She raised her head to face him. His green eyes were one of the things that she could stare at forever, especially when they look like this, brighter and smiling. She nodded raising herself on her tiptoes and place a gentle kiss on his cheek, “Let’s go!”

* * *

When they got to the scene Ruzek was the first one they talked to.

“Morning! So what we got?”

Ruzek looked at both of them without answering for a bit, when he talked Jay felt a smirk growing in him and Hailey couldn’t stop herself from laughing at his words.

“Did you two sleep together last night?”

Both just kept quiet and didn’t answer him but kept their happy expressions on. Kim, that had approached them too, called him out, “Adam, come on! Don’t be rude!”

“What? They both have sleep eyes and they took like 20 minutes to get here; they had been at Hailey’s to get here this fast!”

Hailey gave him an eye roll, “Adam, is 6:30 in the morning. What do you expect? Hair and make up done at this hour? Come on.”

Jay chuckled at her words, “Are you filling us in or not?”

With that, he dropped the inquiry and walked back to the scene filling them on what he got.

After that, Jay and Hailey spotted Voight and decided to approach him to know the orders. Walking away from the group, Jay checked on them to verify if someone was looking and, with all of them on their backs, he whispered in Hailey’s ear.

“Maybe we should make some plans on this our new thing, don’t you think?”

Then he put a safe distance between them as they approached their Sargent.

“Yeah! We need to talk this out!”, she nodded smiling wide.

“Where you want us boss?”, Jay asked, a moment later, already with his work face on and with Hailey right behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Jay's POV of the first chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't knew if I could do it or not, but I end up writing Jay's POV of the first chapter, so enjoy!

Every day that he manages to get through, is one less day that he has to wait for her. This is a recurrent thought in his mind.

"Jay, are you with me or did you zone out again?", Kim asks with a little annoyance in her voice.

He looks at her like he just wakes up from some kind of dream, "Oh my god, I can't wait for Hailey to be back, you are too boring when she's not around."

"Don't be like that, Kim! I'm just tired, we are in this van almost since yesterday. I need a bed and a shower", he says smelling under his arms and making a face that makes Kim crake a laugh.

"Oh Jay…you are a piece of work, you know? I don't know how she put up with you!"

Jay faces Kim again and smiles sheepishly "You know, I always wonder it!"

Voight's voice interrupts their conversation and they groan in relief when they find they can go home.

"This stakeout was a bust!", Kim moans.

* * *

When the day she comes back finally arrives, he wakes up early than usual, goes for a run and, before 8 am, he's ready to go to work. He arrives before everyone and, around noon, knocks on his Sargent office door.

"Hum…boss… Hailey arrives today and I would like to pick her up, so I need to leave early today… Is there a problem with that?"

He could swear he see a smile appearing on Voight's face, but it's too quick to register. "Yeah, Jay you can leave early. And, please, tell her that I would like to talk to her as first thing tomorrow morning if she is up to it!"

"Right, boss! Thanks!"

After what Jay feels like had been days, but it's actually about just 3 pm, Voight leaves his office mumbling something about he still being there.

"You can go, Jay. The day is slow and you are a pain in the ass when Hailey is not around!"

Ruzek cracks a laugh, Kevin waves his head smiling and Kim just shrugged with an "I told you so" written all over her face.

Jay ends up picking up his things and leaving right after Voight, ignoring his team comments.

* * *

The days after she comes back are amazing. He can't remember the last time he's this light-hearted. Since Erin left, his life had been such a mess. Hailey seems to be the only one who tried to pull him out of most of it.

Her smile is all he needs for a good day.

The smile thing is something that started when she was in New York. The first of them to wake up called in Facetime and, with that, he had her smile as a memory to get through the day.

And yes, this was completely new for them, their dynamics have completely changed since she went away, they got closer and, honestly, he's totally comfortable with it.

Jay knows they're playing with fire, but they stare more at each other and tease each other more too and they touch more, so much more. They were never the touch kind of person. He sees how Kevin hug everyone or how Kim always touches the arm of one of them to reassure they were ok. But Jay and Hailey aren't like that, they don't touch anyone on regular basis, but now Jay has some kind of need to feel that she's really there, and she seems to have that need too.

They even hugged, something that Jay never allowed himself to do. They hugged when they meet in the arrivals at the airport. When he saw her, he couldn't resist and surprisingly as he opened his arms, she just sunk in them.

"You really missed me after all, hum?", she asked smiling in his neck.

Jay didn't answer her right away and just stay there savouring her warm and sensing her scents.

"Yes, I did!", he ends up acknowledging with a tone a little more hoarse than he wanted to show, she had noticed for sure, but right at that moment, he didn't care anymore.

After that, they hugged several times more, casually. Like after their so waited dinner date at Bartoli's or at the end of some nights, leaving Molly's to go home.

Jay doesn't want to think about it too much. But this that they have now, even if it's a slow burn, will eventually end in something more and, he's terrified to admit it, honestly, but he can't wait for it to happen.

And he knows his Sarge was right. He was a pain in the ass when she was not around, and he knows it was because he doesn't like changes and he feels more comfortable working with her and she's his partner and his best friend and, but mostly it was because she's more, much more than just his partner or his best friend.

* * *

When he sees the label on the envelop that Trudy has given to Hailey, he feels his world turn around.

"You got to be kidding me!", he desperately thinks.

He feels a mixture of anger with pride of her and he can't decide if he's mad or proud or just frustrated because they're in such a good place and, obviously, had to come something to ruin everything.

But he knows he can't think like that. Hailey is their best cop, she's an amazing detective and the Feds never fail to profile someone as great. She would be amazing there, but all of that means she'll leave again and he is not ready for that change again.

They don't talk about the envelope during the day, the case they got is easy, they get through it fast and end the day by regular hours.

When they leave the precinct, he's ready to go home and forget the damn envelope and put his head in order before the next day come, but Hailey has other plans. She invites him to drinks and he knows she just wants to talk about what the envelope means.

As soon as the words "Joint Task Force" leave her mouth, he knows she'll be great and this is a great opportunity for her to shine and, mostly, it's a way for her to show to some assholes in the force that she's actually really good.

So, when she speaks telling him directly to ask her to reject the offer, he's surprised because asking her not to go had never crossed his mind. As much as he wants her next to him every single day, he'll never ask her to not take that offer. He's proud of her and thinks she for sure deserves this kind of offer. But he'll not lie to her, he wants to be honest.

"Hailey…don't get me wrong, all this broke me inside, because that means I'll lose you. And that's because I'll miss my partner and my best friend, but mostly it's because I'll miss us. Whatever we are, what we have is special, and honestly, I can't picture my life without you in it!"

She smiles at his words, he can see she was blushing a little too and, well, he's feeling pretty hot too as he caressed her hands under his.

And when she talks, he can see she left the teasing tone she used before and, now, it's lighter, almost shy, "If you were in my position, would you take the offer?"

He tilts his head at her, smiling.

"Well, that will probably never will happen but… No, I'll be flattered but the feds are too fancy for me and I can't see my life away from Chicago, away from you!", he finishes with a smirk dancing on his lips. He's glad that even crossed her mind he could receive a proposition like that, but mostly he's not an FBI kind of cop and he, for sure can't leave her behind.

When he hears her saying she never thought about taking the offer, his brain stops for a moment. He's hearing right, she said she don't want to work with the Feds.

He doesn't deny he feels a wait raising from his chest, it's almost like he can breathe again.

But she can't stop surprising him and she asks him to go home with her and with that she manages to let him speechless twice in less than two minutes. And he goes with her.

He can understand her reasons and he's sorry that Vanessa isn't around anymore.

Also, he had to admit he misses the young officer, she was like a storm of good vibes so it's normal her home feels more empty now.

After that night, they become even more close, falling asleep with her in his arms, even if it's on the couch, it's something he's sure it's now his new favourite thing. And waking up with her right there next to him is pretty great too. He's like addicted to this new thing of them, especially because they think they managed to keep it a secret.

They usually spend the nights together mostly at her place, but sometimes she asks him to stay with him because, in her words, his home is cosier because it's smaller than hers. He thinks this is her still missing Vanessa and he understands. As long as they are together he doesn't care where they spend the night.

They use evasive answers to their team when they question them about coming every morning together or leaving Molly's together and smile at some comments from Adam or Kim that are a bit more accurate. But they keep their new thing going on without major questing.

Jay suspects that Voight and Trudy notice more than what they are showing, mostly because he just thinks those two simply know everything about that team. But when Voight hadn't said anything about it, Trudy on other hand sometimes scares them a bit. "Hey, you two love birds? I need you to do patrol work tonight. Can you feet that on your dating plans?" They almost choke when she asks but then she finishes. "Hey just teasing ok, I know you are just partners."

So, in the end, they didn't know what she knows or had notice, but they decided that they don't care.

* * *

One day, on the way to his place, in their comfortable silence after a more complicated case, the radio starts playing James Bay.

"You know that I'm mostly a metal girl, but I really like this song", she says.

Jay raises the sound a bit and asks, "Not my usual choice, but...what is it?"

"'Chewing my heart' from James Bay. It's almost like he wrote this song about us!", she smiles as they fall in their comfortable silence again. But now, instead of being lost on their thoughts, they are listening to the lyrics.

And Jay can't stop but smiling. She's right, the lyrics can be about them for sure.

"What is it that he says right in the beginning?", he asks.

"I know no one could ever love me better!", she almost whispers, already blushing.

He takes his eyes off the road for a second and faces her, losing himself in her blue eyes. He can feel what she's saying and he knows he feels the same, no doubts anymore, no fear. "Yeah, you right, it seems like he wrote it for us."

Already with his eyes back on the road, he searches for her hand and hold it on his until they got home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Once again thanks @Heellen


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their new thing evolves slowly for something even newer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the first two chapters were about the promo, this one is my take on the last scene of 8x03.

The noise from the bar slowly brings them back from their trance.

Jay breath out sharply and lay his forehead on hers. "Do you want to get out of here?"

Hailey just nods and he turns to the door grabing her hand, lacing his fingers on hers.

The chilling wind of Chicago wakes them from the sort of fog they were on. And Jay turn back looking at her,” Where do you want to go?"

She faces him looking at his wide green eyes for the first time since their kiss, he looks happy and she smiles softly. Before talking she cames close to him, leaning her head on his chest, just to feel him close to her again, "My place is closer, do you want to go there?"

The warm of her breath against his body made him shiver and he closes his arms around her. "Yes! Let's go! Meet you there!" He says walking to his truck, not before softly kissing her hair.

They arrived and parked almost at the same time and Jay was right beside her, with his hand on her waist, like he had some kind of need to feel her, when Hailey opened her door.

They put away their coats and shoes like they usually do, Jay completely comfortable around her house and she loves that.

"Do you want a drink?" She asks going strength to the kitchen.

"No, I'm good!" He says trying to reach for her hand. As he reach her she smiles shyly and face him. "Jay, I... What..." The words seem to be stuck on her trough and Jay notices her inability to speak, so he kiss her again, this time she was less cot by surprise and Hailey caresses the the back of his neck and then his face. She smiles on his kiss and kiss him back. He pulls her close to him and his hands are in her ponytail trying to not mess it up too much.

When they have to breath again, Hailey take two steps back and Jay's manner change slightly. "Are you ok?"

She nods and adds. “Sure! Don't worry, I'm better than ok, but maybe we should talk this out, don't you think? I mean before we go further..."

He nods and picks her hand up again kissing it, walking then back to the living room and seating on her couch with her next to him. She pushes one leg under her body and faces him smiling. It seems all she can do right now, and she waves her head about her thoughts.

"What?" He asks smiling back.

“It's just...I can't believe this is really happening!"

"But is it good, right?"

"Yeah, Jay it's really good! I just... What do you want to do?" She asks not facing him again but playing with his hand.

"I prefer to show you... But if you want a full description, I think I could..." She pushes him laughing. "Stop Jay! I just want to know where we go from here!"

"To the bedroom?" He says grinning with his rasised eyebrow . The teasing grin on his face makes her burst into a laugh.

"You are very confident right now?" She says grinning back.

He reaches for her hand and when the words came out of his mouth, they are almost a whisper and his gaze is fixed on her. “Hailey, this goes wherever you want… I... You chose me, Hailey! I just will do whatever you want me to do!"

She pulls one leg around and straddles him and with both her hands on his face she kisses him softly while she caressed his hair.

"Jay I…I just think maybe we should take this slow… I mean…we were pretty slow in terms of sharing our feelings through each other…but, on other hand, I really want you to stay the night! So I…uhm…”

"Hailey , we can go slow even if I stay the night…I just don't want we rush things and then you regret tomorrow!"

“Jay, my only regret will always be not having you by my side!"

He smiles and kisses her softly. "Well, you are way less slow than me in this thing of sharing feelings for each other."

She laughs a little at his little rosy cheeks. "You had been showing pretty well your feelings for me Jay, no worries ok?"

"Ok, so I'm going to keep on doing my thing then!" He says grinning pulling her close to him to kiss her again. This time the kiss is more needy and greedy and as she caresses his neck, making him shiver under her hands, he manages to lose her hair and tangle his hands on it. And for a moment, he stops and feels her face with both his hands almost like he need to check if she’s there for real again, but she is, she is right there in his lap, kissing his neck and making him desire her more than he would ever dream of.

* * *

The sun is not up yet when he feels her cuddling close to him, and he holds her tighter. The little light in the room allows him to watch her sweetly scratching her nose and then caress his chest while sleeping, he had to stop himself from hugging her tight just to make sure that this was really happening. Being here with her in his arms was so amazing that he was terrified that somehow, he could wake up from this crazy dream. His mind travels back to the bar last night, to her words and her insecurity, but she put out in the world that she was not going to take the job because of him. She chose him and he could not be more grateful for her decision. Yes, grateful, that what he was right now, for her decision, for their amazing connection, for their partnership, for her help, for her bravery in putting into words all he was keeping inside him for so long, for her warm embrace and soft kisses, for her. With all this on his mind, he dozes back to sleep moments later until he feels her moving again and pulling the sheets closer to her chest and this time he stays awake studying every little detail of her face until she opens her eyes and sleepy smiles at him. “You are staring!”

“You are beautiful!” he whispers, getting close to her, kissing her cheek softly. “And now you’re blushing!” he adds grinning.

She laughs and hides her face on the pillow but keep her arm around him. “What time is it?” she asks muffled through the pillow.

“Almost 6:30, we should get up!” he informs.

“Five more minutes?” She asks. “Come here!” she says pulling him to a long kiss. And when they finally separate, Jay adds. “Ok, now I can’t leave this bed and you’re the one to blame.” And he pulls her to him closer, kissing her neck while his hands travel through her hair. She cots him off guard and turns them until she is on top of him, catching his earlobe between her teeth’s.

“I thought you said you wanted to take things slow…” He says between kisses and receiving a muffled laugh against his neck. “You are going to wreck me, Hailey!” and she laughs a little more until she reaches his mouth again and kisses him deeply.

“You are right! We should go!” She says beginning to get up from him, but he catches her halfway pinning her to the bed.

“Oh, now you want to go!” He says, placing quick kisses all over her, making her giggle again against him. And she knows, this is her favorite Jay. Jay is an amazing man, he has a warm heart and bravery that stuns her but this carefree, sweet, and funny version of him is her favorite Jay, and it may seem selfish, but she secretly wants to keep this side of Jay only for her, just because she can.

They get up and get ready for work. As they are leaving her house, Jay pulls Hailey against him and kisses the side of her head.

“So how do you want to play this out?”

She smiles at his sweet gesture and adds. “As cool as we can manage?”

He smiles and pulls a stray of hair behind her ear. “And that means? I…Ok, we just do what we normally do, right? Acting professionally and doing our thing, right?”

She reaches for him pushing herself on her tiptoes and kisses him softly smiling.

“Well, yes, we do our thing, we are good at it! And at the end of the day, we get back to this new thing we have!” She says grinning.

Just the fact that she knows that at the end of this day she will be in the comfort of his strong hug again, give her the strenght to go to work and play it out cool. She just needs to know that he is finally here by her side, for more than just her partner. 

“Oh god, I can’t wait for this day to be over!” Jay blurt out forcing a laugh out of her. And god, he loves her laugh. As he walks to his truck and waves at her before entering, his mind travels again, and he says to himself that they can do this. What they have is something that he never had with anyone, they are strong as partners, as best friends and now as a couple and this new thing, between them, he is sure that is going to work out and he can’t wait to have her in his arms again tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My take on 8x04

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is not totally faithfull to the episode but this way fits better with this story! So here it is my take on 8x04. Enjoy

The sun was starting to show when she woke up and checked on her phone, they still had an hour before they had to get out of bed to get ready, but she had to pee and she wanted to do some coffee for them, so she silently got up and went straight to the bathroom.

As she watched herself in the mirror, she opened in a smile as she tried to fix her hair that Jay had completely messed up last night. Fixing one strain that kept falling on her face she travelled back to last night and she could watch herself blush in the mirror. Last night was the start of another new thing, and they finally caved to the desire that was building up one both of them for so long. She can still felt his hands on her, and she watched herself blush more. While she caressed a spot on her neck were Jay spent a good amount of time last night, she thought how good and right it felt to finally have Jay inside her. His touch, his lips on her secret spots, his answer to all her moans, the way he made her come twice was just mind-blowing. Jay was an amazing lover, eager to please, to satisfy, he almost came himself while watching her reaching her breaking point. She saw it in his dark green eyes full of desire and in the way he tried to stop himself. It was amazing but, for her, the best part was how in sync they were, how he seemed to know where she wanted him and how she wanted him.

She washed her face trying to get back from her daydream and when she got back to the room Jay was still sound asleep and she couldn't stop herself from staring and enjoy how relaxed he looked. She was still amazed at how easy and normal it was for them to change gears from friends to lovers. Kissing him felt like home but having Jay as a lover made her feel like she was wanted like she never were before. But mostly she felt like they did it since forever and she couldn't stop grinning as she could still feel his touch on her skin.

She picked up her bra and started to get dress when she heard a muffled sound and turn to him.

"Morning" she greeted him, smiling wide.

Jay raised his head from the pillow, sleepy eyes and a small grin on his lips, and he too travelled back to last night, and he was sure they will be great in this department, with their connection and all the silent language they manage to build over the years, but feeling her shiver under is touch and earing her moan with pleasure was for sure his new favorite things.

When he talked, his voice was still dragging with sleep and as he talked he stretched his arm trying to get her. "Why are you dressing up? Come here. It's still early!" He said checking his phone.

"I was going to make us coffee!" she said shyly, suddenly very self-conscience that she was almost naked in front of him, but he raised himself and crawled on the bed to pick her hand and pull her to him, and when his lips met hers all the shyly feelings went away, because this was Jay, her Jay, and the way his touch felt on hers was so right that she couldn't stop smiling under his kiss.

"I prefer to have you here, with me, a little more, before the coffee, ok?" He said between kisses.

"Ugh, I don't want to go to work!" She confessed.

"Let's tell the bad guys to take the day off!"

"I like that plan!" She said between kisses, losing herself on him again. But then her phone vibrated and she slowed down and he asked her for not to pick up but she knew she had to, and he tickled her and she laughed and whispered "Don't tickle me! I have to!"

And she kissed him softly as she raised from his embrace. She reached for her phone and he was right beside her kissing her shoulder and trying to tickle her again but she stopped him. When she saw her mom's messages, her smile vanished and she felt a wrecking in her lower abdomen.

Her first thought was "oh my god!" But then her mind travelled back to Jay as she heard him asking "What is it?" And she couldn’t stop herself from cursing because, as always, her father had managed to get between her and her happiness. And yes, she knew she was being mean but the bliss that she was just seconds ago was gone and she couldn’t believe their amazing morning was ending with them on the way to the hospital.

* * *

They got a case and she had to confess that she used it as a way out for all the turbulence that she was feeling inside her. She dove right into it and Jay showed concern about it, trying to reach to her, to help her...

But she was fighting herself and Jay, she was fighting this urge to run from all of this.

Her dad was someone that she tried to forget from most of her adult life and now he had just come to show her that as much as she wanted to forget him, she couldn't and she knew that she had to do something about it and she knew Jay would be by her side if she asked him to but the thing was that she didn't know if she was ready to face his dad.

Her mind was foggy when she entered the hospital and after seeing him lying there, through the glass she realized that she could not talk to him, not yet at least and she came back home with a guilty feeling in her stomach and that gilt increased when she lied to Jay as soon as he entered her house, as soon as they started their new thing.

And she felt that was not ok and she could barely face him like that so when they got to the couch and he leaned to kiss her, she just put a hand on his torso and almost whispered.

“I didn't actually talked to him, I saw him and then I left, I couldn't do it...I just..." but he stopped her with a soft kiss.

"It's ok, Hailey, you don't have to talk about it if you don't feel comfortable about it and it's also ok that you didn't talk to him, I get it, better than you think actually!"

"I'm sorry I lied!" She said.

"I knew that you hadn't been totally honest, but as I already told you, I understand, and I don't want to push you to do anything. Or to feel guilty because of me. It's your life Hailey, I wasn’t there when you were a child and I wasn’t there in the hospital and I have no right to judge you, ok? So, I will not do that. I just want to know that I'm on your side, all the way! Ok?!" He told her putting a lock of her hair behind her ear.

She nodded and kissed him again then rest her head on his chest as he put his arm around her, pulling her to him. She smiled and hugged him while he kissed the top of her head as she talked again.

”I'm sorry I snapped at you... It’s just, you don't really know all of it and I don't think I can talk about it just now and…”

He stopped her again, this time pulling her face to him while caressing her hair as she looked up.

"It's going to be ok, Hailey, this, us... We are good! And you and your father...things will work out and I will be by your side as long as you want me to.”

And this was Jay and she had to remember that he deserved the best version of her and that he was there for her no matter what. She raised herself a bit to reach his lips "Thank you!" She said before she poured all the feelings that she couldn’t verbalize right now, on her kiss.

And he answered her back, with a long deep passionate kiss that left her breathless and with her heart full. There was no rush on their kisses, no eager, no desperation, just love and care and she could feel all that on their contact. And by his gaze she was almost certain that he felt that too.

"We should make some arrangements, because if I keep showing to work with yesterday clothes, people will be starting to notice". He said when he finally spoke.

"Jay Halstead... Always so cocky!" She stated with a small giggle.

He smirked and raised his eyebrow a bit. "I just ... It's just hope, Hailey!" He finished with a little shy in his voice.

She kissed him again smiling. When she talked between kisses, she made him laugh.

"I think we should do some arrangements, yes, but not because I don't want the others to know, it's because I don't want to mess up your OCD habits!"

"They are not OCD habits, they are just habits ok? And about the others, I don't care if they know or not, I just care about what you want to do about it!" he said caressing her face.

She smiled and gave him another pick on the lips.

"I don't know Jay! I think I don't really care, but I also don't feel like doing some kind of announcement... I…"

He kissed her again silencing her thoughts before he assured her. "Hailey, it's ok, we keep things between us until we felt ok about it. We don't need all eyes on us! Let's just go with it ok?"

She just nodded and pulled him to her. "Let's go to bed!"

And with that request, he just picked her up from the couch and carried her to her bedroom making her giggle all the way there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you for reading! Feel free to tell me what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is something that came to me after 8x07. Enjoy!

The knock on the door woke them up from their numb stage. Hailey was curled next to Jay on the couch, under a blanket, not feeling the urge to move from there anytime soon, but the delivery guy keeps knocking, showing them that he was not in the mood to wait for them to get back to life.

"It's the food!" She says.

Jay looked at her and growl, knowing that her statement meant that he was the one that needed to get up from their little nest and open the door.

"You are so sneaky, my god!" he said kissing the top of her head, adding. "You're lucky you're cute!" letting her smiling to herself on the couch, curling a bit more under the blanket now that his warm body was not there anymore.

They eat on the couch because, in her words, she was not ready to get out from under the blanket.

"Do you think Adam is alone tonight?" She asked from the couch to Jay, who was cleaning the kitchen. He stopped and looked at her, he knew she was worried about him, he was too. Losing a CI was always hard, and Jay was sure Adam was betting himself up about it. He could remember how lost Hailey was when Cameron died.

"I don't know! Do you think Kim is with him?"

“Maybe? I honestly do not know…Kim has a lot on her plate right now, but Adam shouldn't be alone tonight. I know how dark this time can be."

She felt her eyes water and cleaned them annoyed by the fact that this subject was not totally solved for her.

Jay joined her back on the couch and pull the blanket on top of him.

"You don't like to talk about it, but I know you are reliving Cameron's death again!"

As he talked, he pulled a strand of her hair and hold them behind her ear, and she tilted her head a bit on the comforting touch.

"It's still hard, and…well, that day still live free in my head. I felt so powerless…so responsible for his death. I failed on him completely… Jay, he died because of me!"

He gently cleaned the few tears that she couldn't hold back and kissed her forehead.

"Hailey, you were not to blame, he risked it all and he was losing it, you know that! It was hard, even for me and I barely knew the guy, but I know that you were not the one to blame. Don't put all of this on you! Just remember all the times you said the same to me."

She smiled to hide the crying that was trying to come. This was still so hard to handle. Cameron's death carried a side of her that she thought she had buried a long time ago. Her childhood made her tougher than most of the girls she knew, but also gave her a need for revenge that hunt her most of the start of her life has an adult. Therapy had taught her that the world couldn't be blamed for her father actions and she learnt that she was way happy when she let all that needs behind her and started to be grateful to be able to help others and that's why she soon started to shine in her job.

She was committed, loyal to the force and to her colleagues and, most of all, she knew better than most what was right and wrong and where to stop before cross the blurred lines.

But when Cameron was shot in front of her, it was like that bitter Hailey, that was long buried away resurface and her need to make things right to the ones she believed that deserved it came back in full force and, for a while, she was afraid of herself.

But Jay was there by her side, always believing in the best version of her and then Voight send her to New York and she realizes what she could lose by keeping this version of herself and somehow things clicked again and she knew where she wanted to go again. She believed that everyone has a dark side, but it was up to every one of us to decide with what side of ourselves we wanted to live with. But she knew that now Adam's dark side was taking over for sure.

Jay caressed her check again bringing her back. "Do you think we should go to him?"

"Hum… I… Jay… sometimes I still can feel Cameron's blood on my face… Tonight Adam is in a dark place for sure and he shouldn't be alone."

"Maybe we should check with Kim." Jay adds reaching for his phone.

She didn't pick up right away and when she answered she immediately apologized, saying she was putting Mikaela to bed. Jay explained to her his concerns not referring that Hailey was right there by his side and she agreed that maybe they should all meet at Adam's place.

"Ok! So, Kim is in, maybe we should get going." He said picking Hailey's hand and helping her out under the blanket.

She nodded going to the bedroom to change her leggings to some jeans and they headed out.

* * *

On the way, she called Kevin telling him where they were going and after 20 minutes they were knocking at Adam's door, with a large bucket of ice cream and a pack of beers they bought on the way. They knock twice but with no one answer, so Jay got back to his truck and came back with a key, opening the door and announcing himself, leaving Hailey astonished with the fact that he had a key.

Adam was on his couch and when he faced them, they noticed he had been drinking alone.

They weren’t yet set when another key opened the door again, and Adam didn’t even turn to see who it was because he knew who had the key to his place.

Kim entered silently with Makayla in her arms and mouthed help to Jay. The little girl was sleeping, and Jay picked her up caressing her hair. Kim went back outside, and Hailey followed her.

"Do you need any help?"

Kim smiled. "I just come to pick her bag, but I will need some help putting up a bed for her. She says, “Let’s go!"

Kim told Hailey about the pullout mattress in the spare room and they both prepared a bed for the sleeping child in Jay's lap. When they finished, Jay carefully laid Makayla on the mattress, cuddling her under the blanket.

Hailey watched it from the door and couldn’t stop her heart to beat a little faster for how sweet he was with the little girl, and like Kim is reading her thoughts, she said, "Ok Jay, I don't think I saw you around kids much, but let me tell you, you're a natural!"

Leaving him a little embarrassed making both the girls to laugh lightly. She had a good felling on her stomach, and she felt amazed once again by how this man managed to make her fell in love with him a beat more with the little things.

Back to the leaving room, they heard the key on the door again and Hailey couldn’t stop herself from asking. "Ok, who don't have the key from your place, besides me?" Making the rest of the group burst out a laugh, even Kevin that had just crossed a door with a bag of nachos and cheese sauce in hand.

They made small talk and relaxed for a while, make fun of each other, joke about daily stuff, drinking beer and eating the snacks until Adam finally addressed the elephant in the room. "Thank you, guys! I just…I was … Just thank you for being here." They all nodded and felt in silence for a bit.

The mom in Kim took the situation in her control and informed that maybe it was better for everyone try to get some sleep. They all agreed preparing to leave. And before Adam's said something Kim just informed him that, ”Yeah, Adam, I’ll stay the night! Let's go to bed. Guys lock the door behind you, please!"

As Haley and Jay got out, Kevin cleaned the mess they made rapidly and join them outside closing the door. When he saw them, both walk to Jay's truck he raised his brow and asked. "So, you two come together, at this time of night, uh?” and giving them a knowing smile that they preferred to ignore.

"See tomorrow Kevin!" Hailey said closing the door and waving at him, trying not to show the blushing on her cheeks.

* * *

"Do you think he notices something?" Jay asked already driving.

"I think he has his suspicions because he was on the van with me when you were under the other day and he was very aware of how much I was freaking out when the guy pointed the gun on you! But I also think he will not talk about it. And… I really don't care!" She said putting her hand on his.

"Yeah, I don't care either!" Jay added facing the road but caressing her hand with his thumb.

"So, are you going to tell me why everyone has Ruzek's house key?!" She asked making him laugh.

"Well, most of the times I was the designator drive for drunk Ruzek. So, I have his key because once I got stuck for half an hour under heavy snow at his door while he tried to find his keys. And when he finally found it, he gave it back to me and told me to keep it in my truck because he was sure that what had just happened will happen again any time soon. So, since that day, I have his key. I think Kim have it because it's Kim and Kevin, I know he has it because Adam lost his keys so many times forcing Kevin to look for them that he decided that he need one for himself. You know how Ruzek is."

She smiled and nodded, thinking that yeah Adam can be a bit of a mess. "Well, yes, Adam is…a bit reckless, yes!”

They drove in silence for a while. The images of Jay caressing little Makayla kept floating on Hailey's head and she was smiling to herself without noticing.

"Hey, what you're smiling about?" He asked catching her attention. She debated on telling him it or not, but that good feeling in her stomach was back and she had to tell it to him.

"I was thinking about you with Makayla."

And she was almost sure he was blushing, but it was so dark inside the truck that she couldn’t be totally sure. "Kim is right, you're a natural!"

He remained silent but smiled and bit his lip. She noticed he was trying to figure out what to say. This was totally a new territory for them. They never talked about kids before dating and know it could be a tricky subject for both. Hailey didn't have any idea what Jay’s intentions were on having kids, she had the feeling he wanted them but not totally sure and to be honest she never gave the subject too much thought until know. But seeing Jay carrying Makayla to bed and tucking her under the blankets switched something inside her. That she was sure. She was so lost on the movie in her head that when he talked, she almost jumped on his words. "I always liked kids.”

She smiled. "Well, you looked pretty good with one!"

"Are we having this conversation now?" He asked with his characteristic cooky grin, parking the truck outside her apartment building.

"What do you mean?" She asked trying to dodge the question as she got out of the truck.

He laughed and followed her inside.

Already inside, Hailey went straight to the bedroom to get ready for bed. "Ok, about the conversation…" She started while he headed to the bathroom. "Yes?" He grinned stopping where he was.

She just rolled her eyes at him and asked. "So that means you want kids, right?"

His face changed and the grin disappeared. "You don't?" He asked and she could read him, she knew he was surprised and apprehensive at the same time because he wanted her to want kids too.

“Well, I never thought about it much, with our way of living and our job…but when I watched you with her, the way you softly caressed her head and tucked her under the blankets… I don't know…maybe!"

He laughed a little and reached for her hand, pulling her to him. "Oh yeah?" He asked kissing her gently. "Are we imagine a little Hailey, blond and curly running around the house, ruining me every time she smiles at me?”

She laughed lightly. "Yes, I guess I would like to have kids, not now, but yes, I would love to have a little Jay running around us!"

She could see how his smile melted in him. He was happy, she made him happy, and she had to confess that seeing him like that made her dream with a brighter life. A life that she never thought she would have. A life full of laughs and happy smiles and good memories. And yes, that life would be with Jay by her side and some mini version of them for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for writing and let me know what you think!
> 
> Thanks again @Heellen!


End file.
